When God Says No

If you’ve been a praying person for any length of time, you know the feeling: You asked God for something…and He said no.

Maybe gently. Maybe not so gently.

We tell ourselves we should expect God to deny us something at some point—nay, many points. After all, He isn’t a genie. He is who He is. It’s why we love Him, isn’t it?

Still, hearing “no” hurts. Sometimes a lot.

A few months ago, I wrote about the struggle to wait for God’s yes. In today’s post, we’ll look at the struggle to accept His no.

If this is something you’re facing right now, be encouraged! And if you need a reminder of when God always says yes, check out this post from 2019.

And now, here are three things to remember when God says no:

He knows your pain.

When God lets us hurt, it’s easy to wonder if He really understands or cares. After all, if a loving God truly felt our pain, surely He’d put a stop to it?

The truth is, He does know how we feel. And lest we doubt that, Jesus Himself heard His Father say no.

On the worst night of His earthly life, anticipating the wrath and agony of the cross, God the Son asked God the Father to take that cup of suffering away, if such was His will. Jesus prayed so fervently that His sweat became tinged with blood (Luke 22:44).

The next morning, He was crucified.

God might let you suffer. But He doesn’t do so coldly or blindly. He has suffered. And because Christ suffered for your sins and rose again, you will never have to bear suffering alone.

While bearing our sins on the cross, Jesus was forsaken by His Father, as we sinners deserve to be. As a result, when we who put our hope in Him suffer, the Father never leaves us. He notes every tear. He slips into the cracks of our broken pieces and fills us with His presence. The Holy Spirit searches our hearts, hears their unutterable pain, and intercedes for us.

And eventually, carefully, gently, He puts us back together.

He says no in order to say yes.

When God says no, the world—or at least part of it—seems to stop. Life shrinks. Hope dims. Green pastures shrivel into deserts. We look around and ask, “Where is the goodness of God? What’s the point of asking Him for anything?”

No is a small word. Yet it has a way of filling our vision until we can see nothing else.

But when we study the Bible, we find that “no” is rarely the end of the story. More often, it’s a transition.

God expelled Adam and Eve from Eden…and then began a millennia-long story of redemption.

God created boundaries for His chosen people…so they’d stay in the abundance of a relationship with Him.

God barred the Israelites from the Promised Land…but led them faithfully in the wilderness and trained their children to complete their mission.

God denied Jonathan the kingship…but blessed him with David’s friendship.

Jesus withheld miraculous healing from Lazarus…but gave him resurrection.

Jesus instructed His disciples to deny themselves…so they could follow Him wherever He led.

God didn’t rescue Jesus from the cross…but He raised Him, and through His death and resurrection, gave Him us.

In God’s kingdom, “no” always serves a purpose. It’s a signal to let go and hold out empty hands for what our Father wants to give us. It’s a gate closing off a tired, weedy pasture and moving us on toward a fresh, healthy one.

At the right moment, our hands will be filled. The right gate will open. Because, ultimately, God is a giving God (Psalm 145:8–9; Luke 12:29–32).

His yes exceeds His no.

At the end of the Bible, we get a picture of the end of history. And in this portrait of the new world Christ will usher in, we find many reflections of Eden: the tree of life, God walking among humanity (Revelation 21:1–22:5).

Yet this new world is better. It’s bigger. It’s infinitely more than a substitute for the paradise we lost.

That’s how God’s yes is. It’s more than a consolation prize, more than a peace offering for the things He denies us. It’s a gift, a prize all its own, possessing eternal worth.

And His greatest yes is Himself.

When we repent of our sins, when we surrender our attempts to control our own lives, when we ask Him to be our Savior and our Lord—He says yes.

When we turn to Him with our broken hearts and empty hands, when we ask Him for all that He’s pleased to give—He says yes.

When we give up our assumptions about Him and ourselves, and ask Him to be all that He truly is to us—He says yes.

He’s been saying yes since the beginning of time. He’ll keep saying yes beyond the end.

We just need to ask.

If you haven’t already asked Him for His greatest yes, do so now! Believe that He died on the cross to atone for your sins, was buried, and rose to life on the third day afterward to offer you eternity with God. Confess your sins to God and repent of them. Ask His forgiveness. Ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life and Savior of your soul.

When He says no, turn to Him with your disappointment. Ask for His comfort, guidance, and strength. Thank Him for knowing, caring, and providing what’s best.

Let Him lead you on into what He has for you. He will get you there.

My soul, bless the LORD,
and do not forget all his benefits.
He forgives all your iniquity;
he heals all your diseases.
He redeems your life from the Pit;
he crowns you with faithful love and compassion.
He satisfies you with good things;
your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Psalm 103:2–5 CSB

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Scripture quotations marked CSB have been taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible® and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.